When I was 14, I hoped to have a girlfriend someday.

At 16, I had a girlfriend, but there was no passion.

Then I realized I needed a woman who was passionate and eager to live.

In college, I dated a passionate woman, but she was too emotional. Everything was terrible; she was the queen of problems, crying all the time and threatening to commit suicide.

Then I realized I needed a stable woman.

When I was 25, I found a very stable woman, but she was boring.

She was completely predictable, and nothing ever excited her. Life became so monotonous that I decided I needed a more exciting woman.

At 28, I found an exciting woman, but I couldn't keep up with her as she darted from one place to another without stopping. She did impulsive things and flirted with anyone, which made me feel as miserable as I was happy. The beginning was fun and electrifying, but it had no future.

So I decided to look for a woman with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found an intelligent, ambitious, and grounded woman.

I decided to marry her. She was so ambitious that she asked for a divorce and took everything I had.

Today, at 44, I like women with big butts... And that's it.

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